On Staying Digitally Connected

Focus is two-fold. The ability to dedicate your attention to one task or to eliminate all distractions until there is only that task to dedicate your attention to.

The advent of the smartphone has made both derivations of focus tough to achieve. Our attention spans have been the main benefactors of this lifestyle change, but our relationships have also taken a hit.

War is now waged over political views on Twitter. Friendships are lost over not replying to posts on Facebook. Humans are alienated from group chats because they don’t have iMessage.

Our relationships across all mediums have become a trigger for cortisol release rather than serotonin. We have become slaves to our screens and a reset is in order.

No, you don’t have to slash and burn. Just take inventory.

Start with your closest relationships. Who are the 5-6 people you can’t live without? Who adds outsized value to your life?

Go into your contacts on your phone and put a “blue dot emoji” by their name. Take a screenshot of your call list and text message list every day for the next week. See how many blue dots show up each day.

If less than 25% of your calls are blue dots, it’s time to put on your detective hat and figure out why.

In a time when we’re all incredibly connected, the first thing to go is contact with your closest friends (especially if you live in different areas).

Mediums like Facebook and LinkedIn are incredible for keeping up with loose connections, but they can slowly chip away at time that could be spent elsewhere.

You don’t have to delete these apps. Remember, take inventory.

How much time do you spend on Instagram a day? How did it make you feel after you closed the app?

Journal about it every day for a week. Keep a log of time spent inside the application. Document every activity that you do.

Did you scroll all 30 minutes? Did you connect with old friends by DM? Did you get any sales for your business?

Analyze your results and see if you’re truly deriving any joy from Instagram and repeat it with every service you use.

If you find an application taking away from your joy, look at all of the small activities that did add value and see if you can find them in another application.

For example, I use Facebook just for birthdays. I can delete the entire app if I just add all birthdays of my close friends to my contact list. Now, I can delete one more potential distraction.

Once you’ve culled the fields of applications on your phone, it’s time to focus on the phone itself.

A phone is meant to make your life easier. To keep you connected. It is a weapon that can be used for good or be used against you.

In this case, a simple change of mindset is in order. Start by putting every single app you have on your phone into one group and label it “Distractions”.

First, you’ll find that there are probably over 100 applications each vying for precious chunks of your time.

Next, you’ll see that even the simple act of opening your phone to see nothing will force you to type something into search.

This requires the effort of knowing exactly what you’re going into your phone for.

If you want to use a weapon for good, you need to know why you’re using it.

Simple behavior changes like this foster an environment of focus.

If you eliminate all distractions on your phone, you’ll find yourself at a loss.

Once you recognize you have a slot of time to fill and mindless activity on your phone can no longer fill it, you have a choice.

Do you fill that time slot with something that brings you joy or do you find another vice.

The choice is yours. Don’t let your cellular device make that choice for you.

Win back your freedom.