On Arguments and Progress

Humans get stuck. We hit walls, run into roadblocks and bash our heads on the ceiling. It’s just what we do. Arguing is one of the many ways getting stuck manifests itself in our lives.

Some tiffs are short and sweet, but others can last for years with no resolution in sight. For couples, it may be something as simple as taking out the trash or doing the laundry. Religion or politics, on the other hand, could lead to major wars that devastate the masses.

Arguments all tend to have one thing in common, however. There’s a solution at the end of the tunnel. There’s no airtight formula to getting from point A to point B, but there are a few ways to make progress.

First off, you need to come into the argument with a complete change of mindset. You’re not going to war to defend your point. That human and you are seeking to understand each other and you need to be willing to hear them out to build momentum. Be a problem solver, not a fighter.

Secondly, moving forward in an argument requires both parties to listen to understand. This is totally different from anxiously waiting for someone to finish their point just so you can spit out your preformed answer. That will put you up against that wall, again. Instead, try the exercise of putting yourself in that human’s shoes. Really try to understand where they’re coming from and how that would make you feel if it was happening to you.

Finally, be willing to question your own beliefs and make them more malleable. A muscle only grows larger after the tissue tears. Your point of view is no different. Progress is all about change and at least one of the humans needs to be willing the adapt their point for things to move forward.

Remember, it’s all about growth and progress. Arguments can sometimes unveil a lot about both parties and actually make better humans as an end result.